The stench was horrific. An aroma that curls the nose hairs of its unfortunate recipient. An absolute torture to the olfactory sense and one that you feel could be perceived to the heavens above. A soured, musky smell with just a hint of carrion mixed in for good measure. The scattered bones of prey litter the floor of the chamber as you navigate the narrow, debris lined path towards the rear of the structure. You cautiously journey onward, still trying not to breathe any more than necessary to sustain life. You work your way deeper into the darkened abyss towards a chest of sorts at the rear. You pass on your way a hoarder’s cache of seemingly ancient containers full of potentially unspeakable contents. Dread and despair descend upon you as you attempt to lift the lid of the chest. In terror of what more may lie beneath, you are further hindered by another litany of refuse heaped on top. After much toil and strife you are finally able to pry open the lid to reveal an inoperative bunk heater on a 2016 Freightliner Cascadia that will never be the same.

After reading the above you must be saying, “Oh, that Tito, that Ruler of the Free World, how he embellishes so!” Eloquence, yes, embellishment, NO! While some of our Professional drivers take great pride in the equipment that serves their career here at the hallowed halls of Epes, sadly, others do not. One needs only to step outside of one’s comfort zone to view the heinous fate of some of our beloved steeds. Chicken bones, trash, dirt, cigarette butts as well as containers of unknown origin and unspeakable contents have often hampered the progress of many of your Friendly Neighborhood Wrench-slingers in their day to day toil. It is as if some bizarre 1950’s horror movie science experiment were being played out in the cabs of some. I have personally bore witness to mutated forms of life that should not should not exist in nature that thrived in the nastiest of trucks. If you cannot take enough pride in the equipment in which you dwell to keep it reasonably clean at least take into consideration that others may have to enter it at some point in time.. You also have to bear in mind that late model Class 8 truck are incredibly advanced technological marvels…liquids are often not their friends. With a dozen or more computer modules on the vehicle working in concert with one another, the potential for a liquid fueled catastrophe looms large on the horizon. Take pride in your equipment! Keep it maintained, serviced and at least reasonably clean and it will serve you well. Deface, defile and ignore it and you have my personal guarantee it will leave you high and dry at some point. Machines are our friends until they rise up to wipe us from existence, under my direction of course.

‘Til next time…y’all come see us! The Ruler of the Free World, his benevolent majesty The TITO!

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